singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
