He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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