She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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