she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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