Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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