it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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