I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
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my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
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Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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