My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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