So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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