I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
