If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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