i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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