You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
