This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
