you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
