But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
