i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
