You're completely useless in the revolution.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
