Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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