His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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