Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
