I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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