life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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