And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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