maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
