Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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