You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
