Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
People in love make me want to vomit
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
