You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
