Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
