it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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