well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
