I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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