he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
worst night to have a conscience
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
