I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
