Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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