I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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