I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize