I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
