Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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