we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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