I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
