did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
