Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
