you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
