All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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