Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
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Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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