How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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