How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
