Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
