Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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