I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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