You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.