where am i from again
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.