Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette