So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
