dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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