Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
