Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
my poor anus
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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