oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
