Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
