Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
